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Old 06-08-2005, 09:56 AM
Richard L Richard L is offline
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Default Safety flight announcement during my trip in South Africa

Most pre-take-off safety announcement/demonstration tends to send most people to sleep, not so on this flight...

Made a connecting flight from Johnnesburg to Cape town last week on a cut-price domestic airline called Kahlua. This is what they anounced on the PA - as close as I could recall:

Before take-off
... Safety jackets are provided on demand and for the purpose of emergency use only.

... Oxygen masks will be dropped from above your head in the event of cabin de-pressurisation, the first 18 seconds is free... only joking.

.... If and when the airplane is safely landed during an emergency landing onto an ocean. As soon as the cable door is opened - JUMP... and start swimming.

... Beware of the sharks.

... When you have reached the shore, please return your life jacket immediately to the nearest Kahlua office or you will be charged.

Landed:
... We are happy to inform you that we have just landed in Cape town without and incidents, this time.

... Please look out the window and if it is not what you are expecting, you have big problems.

... Ensure all your hand luggages are collected and don't leave your mother-in-law behind ... We have plenty of our own mother-in-laws to get rid of and we don't want any of yours.

Big overhead bill board:

Kahlua has make the world a smaller place, unfortunately it also bring your relatives much closer...

That was a fun flight.
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Old 07-08-2005, 02:10 AM
hotrod hotrod is offline
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Default very good

Its nice to know that some folks still have a sense of humor.

Years ago during the Vietnam War, there was an item in the Humor in Uniform feature in Readers Digest that comes to mind from your post.

As the story went a group of GI's were flying into Vietnam and most of them were green recruits on their first tour. As you might expect things were a bit tense on board as they began their descent.

About this time the pilot came on the PA and made what started out as the usual announcement something like the following.

This is the Pilot, we will be landing in about 10 minutes, please fasten your seat belts and return your seats to the upright position. The temperature in Saigon is 85 deg. Humidity is 100%, with light to moderate ground fire.

I hope you enjoy your stay!

Needless to say it lightened up the mood a bit.

Larry
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Old 07-08-2005, 10:44 AM
Richard L Richard L is offline
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I hope there are more commercial establishment would ligten things up a bit for those long haul flights in the future.
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Old 13-08-2005, 05:54 PM
Richard L Richard L is offline
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I have another one ....

An air stewart asked the parents of a screaming kid if the boy would like to come for a non-guided tour of the aeroplane's wing.
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Old 07-09-2005, 09:29 AM
the-dubster the-dubster is offline
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I recall a return flight from our delightful outpost - the Falkland islands after spending a most entertaining 4 months on that God forsaken rock :roll: , where the Captains announcements were rather amusing.

On the threshold he started with 'It's eight and a half thousand miles to the UK, we've got a full tank of gas, half a packet of cigarrettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses...........hit it' :lol:
And at this moment the brakes came off and off we went.

On final approach he piped up again with the usual 'We are now approaching Brize Norton, the local time is whatever it was, the usual about temp and weather, the usual 'adjusting back to normal life' waffle and then the immortal (and carreer ending) '...and all the WAAFs (womens RAF) can go back to being ugly again.' :shock:

Funny as hell at the time - to the guys anyway, as anyone who has spent protracted periods of time away from home knows, the rough ones start to look good sooner or later................................
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